A Brave New World - Seeing Things Differently

A Brave New World

Today was an interesting day.  Well, I guess if you look at it from an outside point of view it was actually really boring - I woke up, ran, got ready, ate breakfast/lunch, worked, read a book, read scriptures, then played volleyball.  However, the reality of the situation is that I'm in a completely different town, house, and circumstance than I was a week ago.  It's crazy how things can change so fast.  However, what's also crazy is how even if you change your surroundings some things are still exactly the same.

I've been thinking about this a lot as I have been trying to get know people around here.  I feel like I've been especially awkward and quiet in certain social situations - a problem that I run into in places where I don't know anybody.  It's honestly quite frustrating, and I was beginning to wonder if maybe it was where I was - there are already little tight nit groups and I'm just sitting on the outside, looking in.  However, today I had something of a revelation.

A Little Story

I was reminded of this story in the book I was reading earlier:

A traveler on the outskirts of a great city asked an older fellow seated on the side of the road, "What are people like in this city?"
     "What were they like where you came from?" the man asked.
     "Horrible," the traveler reported.  "Mean, untrustworthy, detestable, in all respects."
     "Ah," said the old man, "you will find them the same in the city ahead."
     It wasn't minutes after the first traveler had left that another stopped by and asked the old man the same question about the people in the city he was entering.  Again, the old man asked the traveler what the people where he had just come from were like.
     "They were fine people:  honest, industrious, and generous to a fault," declared the second traveler.  "I was sorry to leave."
     The old man answered, "That's exactly how you'll find the people here."

Where We Are

I had thought about this in the past and a lesson that I had learned years ago in my service a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints came to mind.  As a missionary, I frequently ran into both members of the church and missionaries who thought wherever they were - stake, ward, area - was the worst.  The worst area, the worst members, and just plain mean people.  Likewise, there were also members and missionaries who thought where they were was just great.  It didn't matter where they were, wherever they were, the work flourished.  It was then that I learned where you are is less important than who you are.

Here's the thing, at the end of the day, a change of scenery will change how some events play out, but it doesn't change you.  Moving to a bigger city means more opportunities to meet different types of a people (and for you singles out there, a bigger dating pool to select from).  However, if you were not as proactive about reaching out and meeting people where you lived before as you should have been, you're going to have that same problem regardless of your location.

Another Lesson

Here's another lesson to chisel in stone:  who we are determines how we see other people and how we see the world

If we had problems where we were before, we're going to have problems wherever we end up.  Why?  Because chances are the problems were less external and more internal.  If we thought the people we associated with were fools in the last place we lived, we're probably going to think they're fools no matter where we go.

Now, sometimes there are some genuine problems that we run into in different places.  Yes, there are some crazies out there and some bad situations, but before we condemn people or places, we should take a good look at ourselves and our lenses.  

It's important that we understand as well that what we are is what we're going to get, or in other words, we attract people that we are like (There's a wonderful scripture in D&C 88:40 to back that thought up).

This is important information for those looking to date or create any type of relationship.  If we don't like the people that we are drawing to us, well, maybe it's time to take a look at ourselves.  We may be surprised as to what we find.

Conclusion

So what's the solution if we are having problems with people or places?

Well, at least part of the antidote comes down to looking inside and come to terms with what you find.  Once we've done some introspection, and we don't like what we see, the next step is to fix it, mend it, strengthen it, or at the very least be able to recognize that there is a problem.  This is the beginning of real personal growth - being able to see ourselves as we really are.

So that's the challenge, take a little time, figure out whatever it is that might troubling us, and look deep inside to find what we can do inside to resolve it.  Sometimes, we really can't change some things in life, but we can change our attitudes and our actions.  Ask Victor Frankl.  Understanding there are some things we can't change and taking steps to change those things that are within our control can make all the difference.

The best part is, when you've taken control of what have control over, wherever you are, can end up being a brave new world.  Even somewhere you've been all your life.  It's amazing what an inner change can do to your outer surroundings.

How did my day end?  I decided to try my best to not be weird, to be friendly and outgoing, and well, I got a date this weekend.  So, I practiced what I've been preaching.  Give it a shot, who knows what will come of a little change on the inside.

- Morgan